yes, you were mean to me last night
yes, you stepped on my heart
yes, i feel the sting

but hey! it's ok you did.

what you're missing here is the fact that i have a rotten mind and whatever you said I've already heard millions of times. however cruel you think you were I am thousand times worse on good days.

I hurt every single day but your words cannot break me cuz I'm already broken.

That's how dangerous I am,

There's nothing left to say. 


How are you?
I'm fine, thank you, and you?

Isn’t this the drill we're taught the first class of English class?
Well, it is. And it is also one of the first social exchanges we use as adults everywhere.

We always say “i'm fine” even when we're not

I wonder how many honest conversations we've skipped because we're "fine". 
How many people we've simply ignored or how many friends we haven't had because we lie.

Because it IS a lie to say you're fine when you are really not.

It IS just another stupid mask we have to wear every day because it is not acceptable to say we feel like crap.

At the end of the day it's for the best we avoid worrying people or giving reasons to our bosses to kick us out but still.


Daily Song: "La Recuerdo" by Bacilos

La recuerdo preocupada por lo que hoy no vale nada
La recuerdo en sus dilemas entre cuentas y poemas.

Ella era un mujercita chiquitita, llena de alegría; le gustaban los programas de cocina pero no cocinar

La recuerdo con sus uñas pintadas de rojo  y los labios color pasión.

No recuerdo ya su cara pero no hace falta, era ella la alegría pura, era música.

Ya no está y poco a poco todo se vuelve borroso.


It's Friday and I'm all alone and at home.
I don't want to cook, I don't want to feel.
I'll take the little money I have 
I'll buy a bottle of whatever I can get.

Food makes you fat (which I already am)
Wine makes me sad (reminds me too much of you)
Beer, that's cheap! 
No strong enough.

I want something that kicks me out
I want to forget what a mess I am
I want to be happy at least once.


  • Having the urge to leave home super early, not to risk getting late to work.
  • Preparing and A, B and C plan in case something goes wrong.
  • Keeping conversations to the minimum because you could make a grammar or pronunciation mistake, even in your native language.
  • Sitting quietly
  • Avoid staring
  • Always carry your mobile phone and headphones to look busy and prevent people from talking to you.
  • Listening carefully to what people say just so you don't get lost in your own mind
  • Family reunions are dangerous and awkward: it is extremely sad knowing you can't relax although you're with family, they're supposed to be there for you when you need them but most of the times they're just clueless fixated to the shallow image they have of who you are.


There are love stories that are not meant to be
But there are some love stories that were meant to be 
We overthought them and let the opportunity slip.

Sometimes you regret things you said, and that's normal
Sometimes you regret things you didn't say because you were too afraid
Sometimes you have to pretend you're OK being "just friends"
He has gotten over you
And the show must go on.


Her friend tried to help her, he'd spend the night cheering her up saying sweet this to her ear.

She'd cry and laugh and I the end she'd just end up following the same self destructive path of cutting and drinking.

He'd never know how much he meant to her, how happy he'd make her.

She'd never forgive herself.


Orphan Train PDF


Some dark place of my mind still worries too much of wether or not he notices me. That little voice in the back of my brain keeps telling me it is important to look good and he might fall for me this time.

I wish I didn't care that much, 
I with I could let go, 
I wish I didn't have to see him every fucking day!


Maze Runner Expedientes Secretos PDF


You guys wouldn't think so but in real life I hardly ever speak, but so many times I've heard "when you have nothing good to say it's better not to say anything" that I somehow got convincesd that my negativity should reain inside.


I keep saying I'm sorry and I really am but fighting against myself is a complex matter.


"Michael  quiso aceptar y hacerla feliz. Pero la velada lo había llenado de una energía nerviosa que necesitaba disipar"

I am the definition of a selfcouncious person; I'm always worried about what people may think about me and I assume my predictions are accurate.

I don't dance because I think my body looks akward when i do it, and I know I can't keep up with the beat.

I don't speak because to me, my ideas sound idiotic, I don't sing because I'm "too shy" and God knows I love singing.

Most of the times I was unable to socialize with classmates, co-workers and even with my own family.

OF COURSE I UNDERSTOOD when he said he didn't dance and explained why.

I guess he didn't see how fucking amazing he was and I wasn't in a position to tell him; NOT ANYMORE ANYWAY.

I hope someday he finds the courage, I hope he finds a sexy cheerleader who would make him so happy that he forgets his fears and hit the dancefloor.

Daily Song: Elastic Heart by Sia

librarian me

I'd become one fo them just to have that amount of books surrounding me; however, it'd suck being interrupted every 2 minutes by poeple when I wanted to read the aforementioned books.


You've been messing with my head and i'm kind of getting tired of it.



Some people have friends, others exercise, go to the cinema, drink or take drugs. I READ. 

Every day on my way to work, while I wait between classes or at the bank; when I'm happy or when I'm sad, all the time I read.

I read because it's the source and the solution of all my problems.
I read because is the only way I feel distant and safe.
I read because he is not here, or because he is right there,
because in real life everything hurts and I am lost.

Once I realized reading was my distraction and my obsession.